Keys to My Life
I was always looking for the answer through my whole life. I couldn't explain who I was and I was unsatisfied with myself. Looking back through my life, there were some big keys that brought the 'real' me.
*Being a Bad Student in Korea
"If you keep skipping your class, I might have to call your parents. Korea is not developing because of you people!" My homeroom teacher in first grade of Daeduk Junior highschool scolded me while hitting me with his class attendance book. 31 homeroom students staring at me and my three friends who skipped the first and second period that day. Humiliated, but dignified looking right at my teacher's eyes which just made him more angry. The whole day, I had to stay in the teachers room writing a letter if apology. I wasn't sad at all since my friends were with me. Back then I thought we could control the world, but now I know how stupid it was to think this way. Living this way, my grade got worse. Out of 272 students, I only obtained 241.
Since my friend Yunseo's parents were away often, we used her house as a drinking place. We could easily get drinks asking her brother to buy them for us. We were almost lost, vomiting in her bathroom, sleeping without blanket in the middle of her living room and so on.
*Big Liar
It was dark enough to go home but I was playing video game at my friend's house. We ordered chicken and when it just arrived my father called. When I picked it up I could tell that my father was upset, he said to come home right away with his angry voice. So I did. When I got home mom was inside her room with doors locked. Father sat in the couch and told me to sit on the floor on front of him. I sat down. He brought my report card and almost threw it at me. In my mind I was saying " OH GOSH. I'm so dead. He found my report card I was hiding for more then a month?" Yes. I have two things to confess. First, I hid my grades in my room. To be more specific, I wrapped it around with wrapping paper and put it back in the plastic bag so that it looked new. I never thought my parents would look it there. Second, I lied about my grade when my parents asked and told them that report card will not be handed this time.
I could hear my mom crying and saying that I'm not her daughter anymore and couldn't believe that I have done this. At that time I finally realized how awful I was as their daughter and as my teacher's student. My mom didn't cook or say a word for a week then. I stayed at my room reading and studying because I was feeling sorry towards my parents. Oh wait, I wasn't studying, I was crying the whole time regretting what I had done.
*Star in ESL class
After a few months, my parents called me and we sat around the table. "You know that your aunt lives in Canada, right? I think you'd better stay there with your aunt for an year to look back your life and study English." I was shocked to hear that, because I was enjoying my school life and I thought I could restart as a good student. Above that, I didn't want to live alone far away from my parents and friends! I said "NO! I'll never survive alone!" After struggling with parents for few weeks, we had a deal. My mom will go to Canada with me. I thought it was a good deal so I went to Canada with her. I got into international school, Woodman Jr. High. In my school, there was a class for ESL students, English as a second language. ESL teacher, mrs. Anderson liked me a lot in the first place. I strtill don't know why she cared me so much but I'm always thankful for that. She showed me around the town and kept helping me with English as if I were her daughter. After three months of 'hard training', my ears for English was open.
Mrs. Anderson stared to call me the star of ESL class. I was proud of myself. One day teachers from Korea came for workshop to look around my school and discover the difference between education in Korea and Canada. She called me to her office and asked me to help translate during the program and I did. I actually did really well. That day she called my mom to visit and she told my mom how great I was in English. That day she bought me a guitar.
*Having struggles
Even though I was good enough in ESL class, I couldn't keep up my work in other classes such as Social Studies or Language of Art. It didn't help that I started to hang out with koreans more and my English was not improving at all. The same semester, I was in the band playing flute. Mrs. Green, my band teacher was giving me a hard time since I couldn't understand what she was asking me to fix so she kept scolding me in her class. I was humiliated.
Another problem I had at school was with Steffany and Louis, I think I will never forget their name because they stole my stuff. It's not like my whole bag was missing, but I still was pissed off. I brought a really nice eraser and I put my name under the paper that was wrapped around it. It was missing. I somehow looked through their pencil case and I noticed that they had stolen it. They kept stealing my stuff and I was annoyed. So I confronted them and said " If you steal my stuff once again, I'll tell our homeroom teacher." They said "No you won't. I mean you can't. Your English isn't good enough to explain what happened. You suck!" Wow, that hurted me so much. It was harsh.
*Returning to Korea
After one year of staying in Canada, I returned to korea. When I was in first grade of highschool, my homeroom teacher asked me to help as a representative of a class because I was sitting in the front of the classroom. If I were old me I would have said no, but I gained some confidence in Canada so I accepted it. I became a real representative eventually. My teachers started to like me and my classmates were asking me for help. I was useful! I studied harder to get good grade and to help classmates. I was chosen to be the representative for all the classes of my grade. I became more and more confident and could actually get into HUFS, my dream university!
Now I'm working hard to keep good grades and trying to get many experiences as possible. Even the life in Canada wasn't always fun, I became real me and now I love myself!
No comments:
Post a Comment